maculategiraffe:

I have a very vivid memory of sitting in a first grade classroom (first grade was my first actual classroom because my mom homeschooled me for kindergarten) thinking “I am literally going to die, I can’t live one more minute without reading a story, but I’ve already gotten my book confiscated for peeking at it during class and I have no backup book and I’m going to die” and then thinking in a burst of divine inspiration “WHAT IF I TELL MYSELF A STORY INSIDE MY HEAD.  THEY CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.  PHYSICALLY THEY CANNOT.”

they could not

(via heart)

Apr 16, 2018

Anonymous asked:

Im 99% made of salt but the pettiest thing im willing to do to crappy customers is give them all nickles and dimes in their change, 5 ones instead of a 5, a 50 in their cash back, etc.. its minor and they probably dont even notice but it feels so satasifying.

I Can't Answer:

Feb 23, 2018

Anonymous asked:

One time, a lady complained to our manager that we shouldn't call our iced tea lemonades with no added simple syrup "unsweetened" because the lemonade is still sweet. Our manager repeated tried to explain to her that lemonade, by definition, has sugar because that's what separated lemonade from lemon juice. The lady still liked how her drink tasted, she just wanted to complain that we call it "unsweetened." Also, she literally complained about it for at least 15 minutes (we timed her)

I Can't Answer:

Feb 23, 2018